You know you’re emotionally fucked when you cry at the king’s anthem at the cinema. To happen twice in a week is pretty shocking.
Last year I’d been through a messy split with my GF, and decided to take a Sangsom bottle and a packet of blue tablets to my liver and willy.
It was hard waving goodbye to a year-long relationship, but even harder when I found out she had fallen into the arms of a fucking German. This was the final straw. Enough to send any Englishman into a booze-fuelled storm. Time to take a breather and get out of BKK…… Time to call home. Time to call Mother
“You will be coming home FOR GOOD won’t you?” she queried
“Yes” I lied
“Good – Let me grab my Visa, and get you the first plane home”
Even as my dear mother was giving me her card details over the phone to book a flight home, I was already plotting my cum-splattered return.
Not much to say really. I’ve just turned 24. Most people will argue I look about 12. I’ve lived on and off in Asia for 2years now.
I took a routine holiday to Phuket when I was 21 and things havent been the same since. I tied up a load of loose ends in England, gathered up a dirty fucking huge pile of cash and flew out to Asia with a mate of mine in search of the Asian dream. Things at 1 point were sweet. I worked as a Personal Trainer in Penang, and lived with a membership sales girl (a former Malay model) who was bringing in serious cash. Rent for the apartment, supplements, food, clothes….. you name it she bought me. She also loved doggystyle with a digit in her brown which is a personal fave of mine.
While this was going on I was also routinely screwing the nuts off 4-5 gym members on the sly. I also received a number of other offers of sexual companionship, however these were offered to me in the male locker room.
