One of the interesting things I’ve learned about high season is that it’s also a time when bar girls start disappearing because their overseas boyfriends come pick them up and take them back to farangland.
If this describes you, then this post if written especially for you. The rest of you should wait until the next blog, as this one will have nothing of interest for you.
I know two girls who are being taken overseas by their western boyfriends this month.
The first one will be familiar to regular readers as My Favorite Go Go Dancer. I’ve known her for 14 months, but she has been my most frequent bed partner since August, and we spend a lot of time together traveling out of Bangkok, seeing movies and the like.
Or at least we did.
See, she has a guy in Europe who is starry-eyed about her and has sponsored her for a visa and paid for a plane ticket for her to go stay with him. I know all about it because I helped her prepare and submit her visa application. She was rewarded with a 6-m0nth visa of the holiday variety, and the boyfriend is pressing her to come stay the entire six months.
I have no doubt that his plan is to ‘test drive’ the relationship with an eye towards marrying the girl if all goes well.
I think she’s got a fairly level head about it all right now, but the temptation to be rescued from a life dancing in the go gos will probably prove to be too much, and I am guessing that she’ll marry him, whether she loves him or not. (Personally, I believe she is fond of him, but not in love).
He, of course, will think he’s the luckiest guy on earth. Who knows, maybe he is.
Probably the only obstacles likely to get in the way of an eventual marriage here are the cold weather and living far away from the family — two things that traditionally cause problems for Thai girls living overseas.
So this guy has stepped on my toes by taking away from me probably the only thing I really care about: the hooker in Thailand that I most enjoy having sex with. I can’t even comfort myself with the idea that I was fucking her on his dime, because he wasn’t ’sponsoring’ her. He knew she was working in the go go and understood that she would do that until she got the visa to go with him.
Now that she’s got it, he told her to stop working in the bar immediately; that he would pay her bills from now on. She did as he asked and is already officially retired from the chrome pole, much to my disappointment. He’ll be landing at Suvarnaphumi airport in a week or so to collect his LBFM.
So I suddenly have a big hole in my sex life where my favorite go go dancer used to be. It may be as much as six months before she comes back to Bangkok, if she ever comes back at all.
I guess it’s time to go on a recruiting trip for new talent, but she will be hard to replace… kind of the Michael Jordon of Werewolf’s hooker team.
So, you won’t be hearing about my favorite go go dancer on the blog anymore unless she miraculously escapes from the clutches of the evil overseas punter who is getting in the way of my sexual satisfaction or unless I get nostalgic.
I do hope she comes out of retirement, but I don’t expect it. I expect her to be Mrs. Farang this time next year.
This does piss me off slightly as it robs me of my favorite bed partner.
But there are silver linings in the world, albeit small and temporary.
A second girl I know used to be a regular on the Werewolf team until she moved to Pattaya early this year. She is the equal to my favorite go go dancer in every way.
She contacted me a couple of days ago to say that she too, has gotten a visa to go overseas. Once again, her beau — who will arrive in Bangkok on Monday — has insisted that she stop working in the bar immediately.
She agreed.
Now, there is the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. This girl is definitely aiming to follow the letter of the law, but ignore it’s spirit. See, she has already stopped working in the bar, and she plans to meet her guy in Bangkok when he flies in on Monday.
But she figures that since she has to come to Bangkok anyway, she might as well come a few days early and enjoy herself. Her boyfriend told her to stop working in the bar, but he didn’t expressly forbid her from having sex with me, so that’s what she wants to do this weekend before he arrives.
She’s coming to my place on Thursday and staying until Sunday night.
For three days or so she will be my pretend-girlfriend. We will go out together and do some fun things. In public we will hold hands and kiss. Back in my room we will cuddle and play like teenagers. She will suck me off and I will open her thighs again and again. I’ll probably use a bit of viagra to make sure that I can pry her lips apart as often as possible for three days.
I’ll tip her lightly at the end of the weekend.
On Monday she will be at the airport with a big smile to greet her guy. She’ll kiss him with the same lips that were wrapped around my manhood 12 hours earlier. He’ll be so damned happy to see her, and her innocent, happy face will bring him so much delight that he’ll never imagine that in the face of his generosity and his plans she has been busily doing the very thing he has told her not to.
She’s been playing house with another guy.
And when she goes back to farangland with him, she’ll be playing house again. The lure of getting off of that chrome pole will be so strong that she’ll convince him that she loves him.
He’ll want to believe her so he will.
Will she be lying to him?
Not really. She’ll be grateful to him. And she’ll give him good sex in return for the security he offers her. She’ll probably be careful with money, diligent in looking after him, and she will make him happy.
It will probably look a lot like love.
But I don’t think it will be. It will be a form of gratitude maybe. A form of companionship that he might not be so enthusiastic about accepting if he really understood where her mind and soul were at.
As long as he doesn’t realize, I imagine he’ll be pretty happy, but for her, the happiness is unlikely to be the deep and heartfelt kind that every person hopes for and deserves.
If it was gonna be, she wouldn’t be coming to my place for three days of sexual frolics (and I know from past experience that the frolics will be enthusiastic and enjoyable). In fact, I got a taste of things to come today.
One reason for the three-day weekend with her is that I have a heavy work schedule on Wednesday and Thursday. Today, however, I had the morning off. She came over late last night and joined me at my place. She came in late, so we didn’t do the deed last night.
We slept late, and around lunchtime we woke up and cuddled together for a while and chatted. Then she crawled onto my lap and started kissing me. These were the deep, wet, languorous kisses that you dream of… the ones that Hollywood movies hint at, but could never show because a single kiss lasted ten or fifteen minutes, and there were a string of these kisses.
Finally, after an hour or so of the kind of make-0ut session that I associate with 16 year olds and mom’s car, we stripped off our clothes and got busy with the real action. I ate her out first, bringing her to a twisting and noisy orgasm before taking my turn. I pushed into her slippery wet pussy, and I was so worked up from the long session of kissing and petting that I came almost immediately… I mean, I barely got inside and I was exploding.
That’s damn near unheard of for me these days.
It was a good thing that I did come quickly, because we were so involved in our kissing for so long that I was late for work. (While we were kissing I knew that I was gonna be late, but I just didn’t care, she was that damned sexy.)
So, Why the detailed account of our ‘afternoon delight’?
Because when a girl gives you that kind of loving it ’s hard to imagine that she’s doing it for any reason other than love. It’s nearly impossible to believe that she does the same thing for other guys.
If you’ve paid the freight for her to come to farangland, and she’s routinely loving you like a teenager, and so hot that you’re damned near exploding in your pants then it’s easy to believe that she loves you and you only.
But, for at least one guy who’s landing on Monday, if this was what he thought, he’d be wrong.
His girl is being my pretend girlfriend, and she’s good at it.
Will she be his pretend wife?
I guess that depends on what you think a wife is, and what marriage is all about.
She’s not being honest with him about what she’s doing this weekend; will she be honest about other things?
I’m writing this story as if it’s about me, but really I mean it to be about you — if you’re one of the men who is sponsoring a girl from overseas or if you plan to take one home to marry.
Your girl may go with you if you arrange things. Check that… she’ll almost certainly go; after all, what girl wouldn’t want to trade family poverty and a life of prostitution for the comforts of a middle class or better lifestyle overseas with one guy who adores her.
But beware if her sugared words and sugared kisses make you believe that you are the center of her world.
I know — I mean absolutely 100% know – - that the girl who was in my room today doesn’t love me. Fuck… in a few days she’s flying overseas to live with a guy in farangland.
But she did everything for me today in the gentle loving way of a girl whose totally in love with her man.
It was all an act. She may have enjoyed the sex — in fact the level of natural lubrication dripping from between her legs argues that she did — but the enjoyment of the act isn’t backed by love.
But, I swear to God, if I didn’t know that 100% already, no one could have convinced me that the girl wasn’t in love with me.
My favorite go go dancer is my favorite go go dancer precisely because she has always been able to give me exactly the same experience.
Some readers have read my gushing praise of my favorite go go dancer in previous blogs and then commented that she sounded like she was falling for me.
I’m either a great writer or a terrible one… not sure which.
See, the experiences with her were all that good. She seemed truly happy. Whether we were fucking or river rafting she seemed to be genuinely excited to be with me.
And I think she was. There’s no reason to spend as much time with me as I demanded — especially for the low rates I’ve always paid her — if she wasn’t having a bit of fun.
But both of these girls are my favorites because they give me exactly the type of experience I treasure. I don’t need an athlete in bed… I’m too old and fat for that. I don’t need two girls… I can barely satisfy one.
What I really want is the illusion of love, and all the tenderness that goes with it. The back rubs, the long gazes in my eyes, the walks outside where she tries to count the stars, hour-long kisses and slow sensuous love-making.
When I get it, it doesn’t mean I’ve found my new wife — it simply means that the girl is very very good at her job.
So, if the illusion of love is enough for you, by all means make your favorite bar girl into your wife.
But if the illusion isn’t enough, you may want to think twice before taking your favorite hooker home to meet the family.
Either way, chances are good that I — or someone like me — is having sex with your girl right now.
32 responses so far ↓
jonbanger // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 12:43 am |
good story. sounds like you might want to find a real girlfriend. been down that road myself. doesn’t work for long unless you are a robot
the DREW // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 1:05 am |
WW, sounds like it’s time to start building up your harem again. lol
MSB // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 7:07 am |
Hmmm. Not sure the point of this one. Are you saying that you can’t have great sex unless you are in love?
// Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 7:34 am |
Gee MSB, I think I said the opposite.
I have had great sex with two girls this week alone. Great sex for me is the tender, loving kind as opposed to the sweaty athletic kind.
What happens is that so many guys come here and fall in love with the first girl they have sex with — probably because it’s been so long since they’ve had that magic feeling. (I did it too, falling for the first Thai girl who traded her affections for Thai baht in 2005).
It simply struck me, when I realized that two girls I know are being taken away from Thailand this month, that high season also marks a time for guys who visited for the first time last year to come back and collect their prize.
I had no point beyond that when I wrote the first paragraph, but a blog has to go somewhere, so I guess I meandered towards the point of saying to these guys that they are probably thinking with their dicks instead of their heads, aiming to marry hookers they met here on holiday.
I think that its very possible that when a girl gives you incredibly tender and loving sex that you can believe it HAD to be because she loves you, not because you paid her. I tried to point out that these girls deliver tender loving sex — it’s what they do for work. They can deliver it to several different men in a single evening if required.
This is no earth-shattering discovery. I said at the top of the post that it was written for men who are sponsoring bar girls, or about to marry one. The post holds, as far as I can tell, nothing of merit for anyone else.
If you are already clear headed on these points you’d simply say, “Yeah, well that’s obvious.”
But it isn’t obvious to a number of affection-starved guys who come here every winter looking for sexual healing.
I came looking for it in the healing waters of the Thai P4P scene and found what I was looking for, so I stayed to enjoy it. These guys are trying to bottle it and take it home with them.
Personally I think it’s probably a mistake for them to do so, but perhaps they understand what they’re up to. Time will tell, for them anyway.
Ron // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 7:38 am |
Hmmm!?
Ron // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 7:47 am |
I think some guys just can’t allow themselves to have what they want and enjoy it? Western guilt conditioning? Iduno!
TeenageFc // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 8:42 am |
An interesting post WW.
I couldn’t help but think that you were writing some of this with the hope to create some jealously should either of the your 2 fggd’s take-away future husbands be reading. Why else go into such devilish detail about the bedroom frolics. But that’s just how I read it, others may be different.
As for the take-away husbands, if they can create a level of happiness for the girl and themselves that is more than they are experiencing now, then isn’t that a good thing? We all want to be happy right.
This may sound harsh, but if you really cared for this these girls, why not offer them the security yourself? Whisk them away from the chrome pole and create a Mrs WW No.2 or No.3. But these are questions that you may have asked yourself before and it sounds like you already know the answer.
There’s plenty of more fish in the sea….just waiting to be caught….but who are the fish? Us men or the lovely Thai ladies who are so skillful with a rod and hook?
MSB // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 9:30 am |
an ok now i get it. Yes I agree with you about the guys who come here, have good sex and fall in love. Same with bar girls who say they love someone but then have sex with someone else. Love is not sex, sex is not love.
BTW really like you “living sex” comment.
// Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 1:39 pm |
TFc: good thoughts. I think if mfggd’s boyfriend was reading the blog I would have known long ago, because if you know her, you’d recognize her from the amount of detail I’ve given. He would have talked to her already.
For the other bloke… maybe I was thinking about a poke in his side if he read the blog.
As for me providing security, I guess there’re two answers. Maybe three.
1. (and this addresses johbanger’s comment as well) I came her NOT to have a girlfriend. I’ve had a few girlfriends and one wife in my life. It’s never worked out. The Bangkok appeal for me is the ability to pay someone to be my girlfriend for an hour or a week then be done with it. NO strings, no commitments. The downside, as seen here, is that when I am keen on a girl like mfggd, she can be rid of me very easily too, even though that’s not what I want. If you don’t think or feel this way it’s hard to explain how strongly this idea motivates my actions and thinking in Bangkok.
2. My work in Thailand isn’t really so financially rewarding that I can tempt many girls away from the chrome pole with money. A fact that’s sad but true. I have a good idea how much mfggd’s boyfriend earns in Europe (and he makes pretty decent dough), and I made about 50% more than that when I worked in Australia. Here in Thailand I earn about a quarter of his salary or less. Also, I don’t offer the appeal of foreign travel, or living overseas.
3. I have, on occasion, thought about breaking rule #1 and settling down with a girl in Bangkok. I even tried it once in 2006, but it didn’t work out well. I I had begun to think about it again with my favorite go go dancer, because in addition to great sex, she has a great personality and a lot of other attractions for me. The fact is, her boyfriend was in earlier and better dressed. If I wanted to settle down with her, I was simply too late (or never in the running). If she returns to Bangkok at some point in the future, I’ll have to consider whether I want to pursue her for a settled relationship. I’d be strongly tempted, but just because I am attracted to her doesn’t mean she’s attracted to me.
And you’re right… it’s hard to distinguish the hunters and the prey here.
// Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 2:03 pm |
High season? I thought that was canceled this year?
Lots of women out there right now looking to be rescued, though, as the baht tree is not shedding much fruit this year.
If my reading comprehension skills still function…temporary “fake” love in the physical sense is OK for you. Likewise, some reasonable facsimile of real love is OK enough for some guys to tie the knot and put their financial asses on the line. Convexly, no love and all sex works for others, actually a lot of others in Khrung Thep.
But what about real love? What about finding a good woman who you can enjoy now and down the road in 25 years or so will take care of you when you’re really old and drooling in your rockin’ chair out on the prairie somewhere? I think this woman can actually be found in Thailand these days. But probably not in some glitzy go-go bar.
WW: thanks for writing this. I was beginning to think a little too much about my latest bar girl gik and it’s been messing up my head about home life with #1 (who never was a bar girl as far as I know and will proably take care of me until the end of my time). A dose of reality, however sobering, is a good thing sometimes.
BTW, I do think you’re a good guy, but I wouldn’t want you doing my girl the night before I come to town! Just had to add that…chok dee!
TeenageFC // Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 7:26 pm |
A nice reply WW. This must be one of the more controversial posts that I have seen from you in the 6 months or so of following your tales.
Firstly, because it provoked me and others to write what we have written, but secondly, because it may have shown us a different side to you. A side that can feel emotional paid from a womans absence (haven’t we all felt that once or 5,000 times in our lives). I used to write music and I remember a line in a song that said “Absence makes the heart grow stronger, but separation drives you up the wall”. I guess I was trying to portray the feelings when your a teenager and your pining ever so badly for your first sweetheart. Every minutes apart feels like agony and the though of never seeing them again is torture on the mind. This type of emotion can follow us the rest of our lives and manifest itself in so many different ways. Us humans are lucky (or unlucky) that we can share our emotions and feelings in so many different ways. Other species have to make do with eye contact or sorrowful looks. Some even die of a broken heart.
Some of the content was quite cutting and I could feel a true sense of frustration mixed with a tad of anger about possibly losing a girl who you feel has the qualities to make you happy for a long, long time.
As for the girls themselves; what makes them happy? The chance of foreign travel or finding a true companion? I guess it all depends how materialistic they are. Many a woman would settle for less if they really love the guy, but some of these girls have had a pretty tough time (i.e. going boom-boom for years with smelly, fat strangers) and their sense of materialism may be somewhat askew as they search for all things bright and sparkling to help erase the past from their minds.
Sorry for getting too heavy. I guess I have my own demons to work though at the moment and this post has got me thinking.
// Wednesday, 17 December 2008 at 10:21 pm |
TFC: good comments actually; interesting that both you and ft69 say that this resounds with y0u at some level.
One thing about blog writing (and BBB has told me this many times about his own blog) is that you never know what people will catch hold of and relate to. I have always had some blogs that I just HAD to write because I felt I had something important to say. Others get written because I have half an idea and I’d like to keep a reasonably steady stream of posts… a bit of a space-filler if you will.
This one was the latter. I only had the first paragraph when I started to write, and I had no idea where to go with it. MSB’s comment that he wasn’t sure about my point is a sure sign that I didn’t really have one when I started writing.
By the end, I guess you’re right that I was expressing my own frustration at losing a girl that I am truly fond of, and who gives me great sex. I guess it was my own catharsis… but pop psychology isn’t my forte.
My own comments have probably added a lot to the original post, and I probably understand better now why I wrote it in the first place.
This comment — like the blog — seems to have no real point… I guess I’m just saying that it’s ironic (as the blog writer) to see comments about the resonance of a blog that was not written in a fit of passion for an idea, but more as a space filler; and perhaps that maybe I was really doing a bit more than just filling space.
I better stop now… even I don’t know what I’m talking about any more…….
Why Pee? // Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 1:00 am |
Thai girls are the most fuckable in asia, so find another fggd and get fucking hammered in the mean time! Chok Dee! (this Madoff scandle is brilliant)
// Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 1:06 am |
good advice
Cabby // Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 11:04 am |
Do you honestly believe these girls can’t fall in love?
Sure they can. And they do. They are human, and their trade is intimate. If they let their guard down, real emotions and feelings can occur. Not good for business, but it happens and happens a lot more than I think you believe. Next thing you know, they are asking for help to fill out Visa applications in the hope that you say or do something that will make it unnecessary. They can’t take the first step because they are terrified of losing what they already have, but will grab that hand if you hold it out to them. Offer to let her stay rent free, five thousand a month allowance if she stops work and to promise not to take girls home or sleep with her friends and their might be tears of joy (and a pending financial burden when she decides to go to university).
Or perhaps not. Maybe if you took that first step she thinks you are the better cash cow over the long haul, or there will be a large guilt payout in a few months when you are bored. I think the saddest thing about relationships with bar girls is how long it will take before you know for sure.
And of course there are your feelings. If you aren’t looking for long term commitments at the moment the point is moot.
// Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 11:27 am |
Cabby: I absolutely believe that the girls can fall in love. I know several bar girls who have genuinely fallen; sometimes happily because it is reciprocated and sometimes sadly because her heart gets broken.
I didn’t mean to make sweeping statements about the nature of relationships between bar girls and customers; just to relate one or two small stories about bar girls I know at the moment who seem to say to customers/boyfriends abroad that they love them, while being deceitful with them. Is that love? Maybe it is (little white lies) and maybe it isn’t. I dunno.
I have had two bar girls fall in love with me in the past. In both cases I left them broken hearted — one of the reasons that I try to avoid relationships here… these girls have enough problems without having me as a boyfriend.
That said, I know that lately I’ve started ‘falling’ a bit for mfggd. I have no idea whether she:
a. thinks I’m a great guy and would have hooked up with me if she wasn’t already so far along with the other guy.
b. thinks I’m okay, and as a backup in case the other guy doesn’t work out I have potential for the future.
c. doesn’t give a flying fuck about me one way or the other.
d. actually despises me and my fat smelly self, but treats me well because she is trying to pay for a new house back in Isaan.
I can say that if he hadn’t been around and I had another 2 or 3 months with her I probably would have started talking to her about stopping work. Of course, that’s all supposition. We’ll never know.
And that’s probably the closest I can come to saying what my “message” was in the blog, if I have to have one. That it’s really hard to know what the ‘relationship’ is when you fall for a working bar girl.
Some people say that when you start out paying her for sex you can never have a ‘normal’ relationship. I don’t believe it’s that clear cut, but I do think it’s a difficult situation.
TeenageFc // Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 1:17 pm |
WW: If you ever feel inclined, maybe you could do a blog piece about bar girls and where they sit emotionally about love vs love for money.
As you know quite a few bar girls in there in Bangkok, some of whom have had success and some failure in the love department, you could interview them on where they stand on the issue. I know that you’d get a wide range of responses, but I guess that’s how you get your cross section.
Everyone, no matter where you sit in the food chain, wants to be loved and respected. I sometimes wonder how quickly or easily bar girls can flick the switch from being a sex cushion to being a normal girl. They must carry a lot of emotional scars as I’m sure they’ve had to do things they would never have dreamt of (nightmares! not dreams) with people of all shapes and ages.
Do they want happiness at the cost of freedom (i.e. out of prostitution but not with the partner of their choice) ? A broad question I know.
You asked yourself some good questions in your last comment with your a,b,c,d. Your a smart enough man to know that you won’t find the answers to those questions unless you ask her.
Ask her man! If you trust her enough, you’ll trust that her answers are genuine.
werewolf // Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 4:22 pm |
Indeed we’ve had the discussion. She is a bit vague about her answer, so I asked more than once. The last time she scolded me for repeatedly asking her the same thing. Personally, I think I’m somewhere in the A/B range with her, but I don’t really know. If I’d met her a few months earlier (or she simply didn’t know the other guy) then I think there might have been a relationship. Now, the only way that’ll happen is if everything blows up between them in Europe. They plan 4 to 6 months together, which is plenty of time for them to discover flaws. I can only hope.
The problem is that I can’t imagine her returning to P4P scene after returning unless it’s a matter of 4 weeks or less. How can you keep em down on the farm after they’ve seen Paris?
You might like the first real blog I ever wrote:
English Bob // Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 5:12 pm |
Excellent post WW, i’ve never been to LOS, but done plenty of Mongering around Europe. I think people are the same the world over, you’ve got your emotionally strong, emotionally week, hard hearted, cold hearted etc the list is endless. I’m quite sure that some hookers fall for guys their with, more so over their where you can spend a night, day, weekend with the same girl! I think the real question in this post is ”Did you (WW) fall for your MFGGD?”, and need to blog about it to get things off your chest?
// Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 8:44 pm |
I’ll echo Teenage FC’s comment about getting the woman’s point of view. I would love to know what goes on in their heads. And not just the bar girls. Normal girls make me scratch my head too.
TeenageFC // Friday, 19 December 2008 at 3:21 am |
Thanks WW…I started following your old blog not long before you stopped doing it.
I went searching through the archives and found the post you mentioned. It was very interesting to read the girls reactions and dreams. Gives me even more food for thought.
Incidentally, as I was flicking through the pages I came across a posting about a lady you referred to as Cat (someone you met at a place you were working). What ever happened to her?
carey // Friday, 19 December 2008 at 5:15 am |
WW nice article. My 2 cents for what it is worth. We are men and being men we want to spread our seed whilst we can into as many women as we can. To most of us it is the thrill of the chase that is our main buzz – to getting the girl into bed for the first time. When the sex is good and we are made to feel good about ourselves the illusion of love simply follows.
In my humble opinion u need to have sacrifice to have true love – to go through the bad times, the pain, the sufferring and realise that someone is there holding your hand through this sharing what u feel. When this happens u realise u have a keeper and marriage is a legitimate option.
Unfortunately i believe that many guys who come to Thailand and meet a “favourite go go dancer” and then want to whisk her away are doing so based on the male protective instinct and our need to possess – that is if i marry her she is mine and no-one will be able to fuck that LBFM any more. Very much like the trophy wife. I believe this is why some guys get post bangkok depression (PBD). Unfortunately these feelings change dramatically for most men and like most trophies get left on the shelf gathering dust the longer it has been since the first conquest. Women being the micro orientated and sensitive beings they are pick up on this and it all turns to shit.
So WW go down to Soi Cowboy and get that harem pumping again. Become primeval and spread the seed widely and experience the thrill of the chase especially when u thrust between their thighs for the first time…..
bigkahuna // Friday, 19 December 2008 at 9:06 am |
spot on post WW. i was told of this reality 5 years ago by two friends who’d lived there already for 10 years. now, at 33, having travelled and lived (and arriving again shortly in a semi-permanent capacity), i have a better understanding of this. it’s one thing to be told it, another to live it – your post describes it just about as well as it could be.
sounds like you have one of them ‘good problems’ in choosing a new starting lineup, good luck…
// Friday, 19 December 2008 at 9:48 am |
TFC: Mate, I usually change details (like people’s names) to protect the innocent and the guilty as well, since they didn’t ask to be written about on the world wide web. I can’t remember who Cat was… can you offer a hint or a link to a URL?
UPDATE: I remember who you’re talking about. The answer is, nothing at all happened. At the end of my work contract I asked her to go out with me and she turned me down. Politely.
All very anti-climactic.
Cheers WW
// Friday, 19 December 2008 at 9:55 am |
English Bob:
It sure seems that way, doesn’t it? I didn’t realize it until we started doing comments. That’s what I meant when I wrote in my earlier comment:
// Friday, 19 December 2008 at 9:58 am |
Carey: I wanted to “spread my seed” to Carey’s girl as well… I’ve been into Shark two or three times recently and looked for her every time but to no avail. Now that’s the kind of hangover cure I need… I’ll have to go back and look again.
TeenageFc // Friday, 19 December 2008 at 10:26 am |
sounds like a drunken weekend is in order then….
have a good one
My Goodbye Girl « RAWBangkok // Friday, 19 December 2008 at 10:57 am |
[...] RAW Q&A ← My Pretend Girlfriend. Your pretend wife? [...]
// Friday, 19 December 2008 at 10:59 am |
TFC: See the newest blog. Drunken weekend it is.
swampthing // Saturday, 27 December 2008 at 11:56 am |
I can’t make up my mind whether it’s all fucked up…or whether it’s perfectly normal except that we farang have a bizarre and impractical set of principles.
swampthing // Saturday, 27 December 2008 at 11:59 am |
It’s not like you to bemoan your outcast fate. I thought Bangkok was soaking with replacements?
JDH // Thursday, 22 January 2009 at 2:23 am |
Very late to this discusion – but I have some things to say that I have kept to myself for the last 13 months.
Please bear with me and I have lived here about 13 years – so what does that mean!
@WW – amazing – honest heart felt displays of your feelings for her! Also, your parallel processing of your feelings comabting the should I or shoudn’t I – a battle I have fought with myself for a year!
Will either of them last outside of Thailand with their new found security or opportunity – ABSOUTELY NOT! They both will be back!
I lived here about 5 years before I met the ONE! I messed around a lot but never let it interfere with my work.
This ONE I fell head over heals for! Bought a house here On Nut (in my company name) – did not buy a car or motorbike – no need BKK.
A small flat I rented in Jomtien – went every other weekend 3 or 4 days – work is flexible for me – just need a “net” connection!
Wanted me to build a house in Sakon Nakorn – no way! It is the fricking jungle up there = what the hell am I gonna do up there?
When I retire it is down south Thailand on the BEACH! NOT ISSAN!
Gave her at ATM card – put money in that account and I took good care of! I did not want to hear about the family problems – you resolve.
I wasn’t going to give money to her ex-husband baht – so the ONE could see her daughter. You want to take care of your daughter – have her come live with us! All kind of family shit! You take care of – not me! Don’t want to get involved and if I did get involved – what could I do other than provide more money – no !
Everything great for about 5 years – yes some money ups and downs but that is life. Did whatever I could do for her – many of her friends still in the “business”.
She would get together with her friends – friends bragged and lied about all the money they were making off farangs – you know the story!
Believe me – these women discuss these issues in details. I have seen her friends lie, steal, hand off kids – not even to parents – but friends parents!
Then it all fell apart – to much drunkeness, drugs, cards, leaving and not coming home for days, etceteras! Was hell for me!
Stood my ground – after one of her binges – I told her to leave. She left I was not taking anymore! My heart f$#$# ached!
So she went to work at the EDEN CLUB! yes – I do not shit you! She has been working there for a little over a year.
I get all test messages, her friends still stop by my house, even friends of hers I have not seen for 2 years!
I never answer any of her texts – I walk into a bar and she is there with a customer – she “high tails it out of there” – I have seen!
So in summary,
1. I think they do not value or understand what they have when they have it.
2. I think – they think – the “grass is always greener” so it is a constant search based upon the BG gossip “factory”!
3. Maybe they have never been loved in the ways we farangs have know or understand loved? I never one time saw the ONE touch (hug, etc) any member of her family! Just a Wai!
4. Their life is certainly better from the villages they come from in the BG scene.
5. Lying is a national sport in Thailand – no integrity!
6. Some truly like what they are doing! A fricking non responsible care free life. What does Thai mean = ‘Free”!
7. They know that they can go back to their friends and live and no one will every say anything about “what happened”! NO RISK!
I am not sure what correlleations I have made – but I understand how you feel! REALLY!!!
Maybe we can have a beer and a burger?
But – I love this place and I am happy that I went through this situation – I gave love in an honest and committed way – I have nothing to be ashamed of!
I only learned things that can only help me in the next relatinship!
I am happy that I have my health and a skill that I love – so I would not change a thing!
It is just to bad that at the end of the day you cannot be given an explanation or have the cross cultureal understanding – in order get your head around it!
But – that is what makes life great and even more interesting when you live here!
Thanks for letting me ramble!